Temuramah aku dengan ultramen

Recently I met up with my idol Ultraman in Tokyo, Japan,
the city he has saved many times over from evil,
destructive monsters. We met at an intersection
downtown, bought drinks from a vending machine and sat
on the kerb for this interview.

Me: Konichiwa, Ultraman-san!
Ultraman: Apa khabar, Visiteur-san!

Me: Wow! Ultraman reti cakap bahasa?
Ultraman: Mesti lah, beb! Gua ada ramai peminat di
seluruh dunia. Gua kena lah belajar macam-macam bahasa.

Me: Cool! So, what you been up to, dude?
Ultraman: A bit tired. Fought a monster last night in
Fukushima prefecture. We fought until we reached the
seaside in Hamadori. A lot of people died.

Me: The monster killed so many?
Ultraman: Actually, gua terjatuh and terhimpit diorang.

Me: Er, I see. Banyak lagi ke monster kat dunia ni?
Ultraman: Ada lah. Tapi diorang dah malas nak lawan. Dah
ada agent and publicist. Merchandising rights. Suma
lawan nak dapat market share je. Boring lah, beb!

Me: I see. So camne brader-brader lu? Ultraman Tiga,
Ultraman Taro .. ?
Ultraman: They all OK. Tiga dah bersara. Sekarang dia
bukak restoran sushi kat Shinjuku. Bini dia baru beranak.
Me: Wow!

Ultraman: Yeah. Bini dia makhluk Bumi. So at first,
family gua bantah, sebab we all boleh kahwin ngan orang
Planet Ultra je. But thank the Ultra-Gods, my father,
Utraman yang bertanduk tu, finally gave his blessings.
Cucu dia tu bertanduk jugak, so happy lah dia.

Me: What about Taro?
Ultraman: Taro tengah buat multi-level marketing jual
ubat untuk kuatkan tenaga batin.

Me: Eh, naper Ultraman suma tak nak jadi superhero lagi?
Ultraman: Tu lah. Nowadays terlalu ramai superhero.
Gaban lah, Power Ranger lah, ni lah, tu la. Yang paling
teruk si Baja Hitam tu lah. Lawan cam pondan tapi
marketing power dia kuat. Sebab tu boleh jadi popular. I
always say, never trust superhero yang bawak motosikal,
superhero yang pakai topeng pelik-pelik. We all Ultramen
don't need all that cosmetic bad word.

Me: Wow, marahnya Ultraman.
Ultraman: Siapa tak marah? Bagero! Superhero ciplak ni
suma tak original lah. And they all no integrity or
morals. Last week, I dengar Gaban kena tangkap ngan
gadis bawah umur. You see?

Me: Man, that is sad.
Ultraman: Tu lah. That's why kalau tak Ultra, memang tak
world lah.

Me: Wuhu! Lu peminat Mawi ke?
Ultraman: Adalah sikit-sikit.

Me: So, Ultraman, what's your future plan? You going to
give up being a superhero too?
Ultraman: No way. I love my job too much. But my
girlfriend complains that I work such long hours. And
when I come home at night, I'm always tired and my chest
light is always beeping.

Me: Woooo! Sounds like you might need some of that ubat
from your brader Taro.
Ultraman: Good idea! I better give him a call tonight.

At this point, Ultraman receives a distress call from
Yokohama, where a monster is attacking the train
station. So off he went, into the blue yonder, to fight
yet another worthy adversary.

World!
CleaR Wata....Don'T sAngKa..No BoyA....